Chapter 4 - First Awareness

Most everyone tries to remember the first time he was aware of his surroundings and of his existence. I have tried to do this many time. My mother used to ask me if I remember anything before I had Polio at the age of 2 1/2 years old, so I would try my best to remember those days. As best I could, I would develop images in my mind of things I at least thought I remembered. Sometimes I think I have created events in my mind which are not real, thinking that I am remembering actual events.

The first thing I "think" I remember may be before I had Polio in 1947. I remember (I think) sitting on the porch of my grandfather's home where we lived. I was looking out toward a barn to my left. I can see the terrain as I look toward this barn. To my knowledge, no one ever described this to me; so I am almost persuaded that this was a real memory. When I described this scene to my mother, she corrected it a little, but the content of the memory seems to be real. That is when I "became alive" to myself. I seem to remember it well.

But that is not when I REALLY became alive. The time that I remember really coming alive is when I was 13 years old, when I was convicted of my sins and trusted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. This is real life. It matters not what I remember in this life; it matters only that I know in whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. God is really great! My life is real!